Tuesday, January 8, 2013

So it’s been a while. Where have I been? So kind of you to ask…

Since my last blog, I have had my serial horror novel, “The Haunted Halls”, accepted for the Jukepop Serials site. In my first month on the site, I have put up 5 installments of the in-progress story about a haunted hotel. I’m really having a blast writing these characters, and scheming up this ghastly ghost story. asked my oddball collection of Facebook friends to shout at me if they wanted to appear in the tale. I got a pretty good response and can’t wait to mess every one of them up! I’m just lucky the website accepted my story while we were on break from school.  (The above pic is the cover my buddy Jason Lynch drew up for the novel-Check out more of his work here- Jason's work)

Christmas happened, right?

We had a pretty successful holiday at the Rolfe household.  There was Gilbert (our Elf on the Shelf), a lot of listening to the Chipmunks Christmas (Moni loved Jingle Bells, Ruby preferred Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer), and after finishing Christmas night off at my mother’s, I met up with my pal, Ben, and went to see the late showing of “Django Unchained” (Awesome movie!) 

Baby watch

Axl is kicking away, constantly getting the hiccups, and trying to destroy my wife’s ribs. Meghan has been in a pretty god mood, and plenty active-this woman cannot be slowed down!-  over the last few weeks. We have a swing, a bouncy seat, and plenty of clothes. We still need to get a new crib (I apparently lost important pieces to the last one we had). That seems to be the wife’s number one concern. Axl is due in late March, so we only have a couple months to get ready!

Sorry that this blog seems a little all over the place, but I had to catch you up.
I’ll try to offer up something a little more weighty next time (maybe sometime in the next day or two).

Check out my serial novel and maybe get me some votes (The more votes I get the more money I can earn!). "The Haunted Halls"  by Glenn Rolfe

Monday, December 3, 2012

Hair and Sports Cars

So I was on a Time Warner strike for the last year. They over charge for a service that forces way too many terrible and completely useless channels upon you, and I wasn't going to let them screw me over any longer. The problem is, where I live, I’m not allowed to have any kind of satellite TV. This is a big problem, especially since its football season. My friends and I have gathered at my house (for the most part) for as long as I can remember for football Sundays. Well, my Time Warner strike was interfering with this and thus, ruining the football Sundays. I tried using my laptop to stream games, but it was too ridiculous trying to enjoy a game with friends hovering over a computer. Anyways, under pressure from my best friend and my wife, I finally caved in and sold my soul back to the devil of digital cable providers. Where am I going with this? I’ll tell you.

My best friend, let’s call him Ollie, heard from one of our other friends that was over yesterday watching the games, that I had a blog. Ollie just about flips his lid, “You have a blog?” “What’s it about” I told him, “It’s about hair and sports cars.” I won’t tell you his response to that, but he kept asking what is was about. There were jokes about being a teenage girl, which I do actually share a lot of likes and emotional similarities with, but I don't have a leg to stand on in that conversation. I found it hilarious that he wanted to know so badly. My friend that brought it up told him, “He wrote that I was a failure, and he writes things about you, too.” Which, of course, made Ollie more curious (not that he believed our friend, but the fact that neither of us were telling him what it was I was writing on the interweb).  I finally told him, and that was that, but it took me a few minutes to realize that my best friend felt that I had intentionally left him out of a part of my little world, and it really got to him. Now, I didn't intentionally leave Ollie out of this loop, he’s just not on Facebook and I didn't think to send him a link. I didn't think my little step into the blogging world would was big enough news, or of any uber-importance.  What I did learn was that my best friend (who is the consummate tough guy) actually felt left out, which means that he was a little hurt, which means I mean a lot to him. In my crazy busy world, it’s very easy to neglect relationships and take the people outside of my household family for granted. I don’t mean to, it just happens. So, it meant a lot to me to see that Ollie cared so much. We don’t often take enough time to let those that matter the most to us know how much they mean, or how much we appreciate them. I want to tell my friend Ollie that I love him, and I’m glad he’s best friend. He’s been a great Uncle to my girls- who love him right back- and a great buffer for my wife, offering her some actual intellectually stimulating conversations in contrast to my 75-90 percent babble of nonsense.

So while I may have sold my soul back to the worst cable company around, we do have football Sundays back, and I think that’s a good thing for all of those involved. 


Monday, November 26, 2012

"Am I Making Too Many Kids?"

Okay, So last time out I began revealing some of my neurosis on having a boy and the fear and concerns I have in my own abilities to turn that boy into a “man” or a redneck ( if you read the last post, you’ll know what I mean).  We've been down that road, and I’m sure we’ll go back down it again, but let’s get to what’s crossing my frontal lobe today.

Let’s talk about overpopulating

“Overpopulated” by Cobra Skulls     Overpopluated By Cobra Skulls 
well we've all got the right
Guaranteed by a state
And even a god
Demands that it's my job
Just to procreate
For everyone to feed
Something's gotta bleed
Now are you gonna take
Until there's nothing to do but leave?
So do you have to
Keep on populating
Who's going to refuse the right?
We've got to be equal
But too many people
Are making it harder to survive

I love this band, and I love this song. But with two girls in my house, and a baby boy on the way, it’s obvious that I missed the message, right?

That’s what I said.

Well, I do worry that I’m adding to the human populace that is going add to, and live through, the worsening of Al Gore’s Global Warming, not to mention witness who knows what from technology (time machines, teleporters, and robot anarchists is my guess). Then of course, we have the ever growing threat of financial collapse, and the massive debt we owe to China (who will probably take control of the earth behind the power of the first race of robots). Don’t forget that there’s supposed to be another “monster flu” epidemic at some point, and who knows what Al-Qaeda has up their sleeves, and all those monster storms (due to AG’s GW). I guess you could make an argument that I’m an asshole for bringing more life into this scary future before us. I don’t know. While I’m nervous about tomorrow, I still wouldn't change the path I’m on.

The world is filled to the brim with human beings, so why do I keep making more!

It’s fairly simple- I love my wife, and we make cool kids. I know, I know, I've got some bias going on here, but take my word for it, despite all of my quirks; these kids are turning out pretty rad. Besides being ultra-mega cute, and being the best reciprocators for love (something that we all long for and need), my two little ladies do the greatest thing humans can do- They sing and they dance. I mean, how fucking cool is that? I’m telling you, you cannot witness their plethora of dance moves that accompany any number of tunes- from your ABC’s to Kasey Chambers to their own made up songs about sleeping kitties and magic rainbows. They make me smile, genuinely smile, at least a handful of times, every single day. You can’t beat that.  

So, yeah, I am helping to overpopulate the earth with humans, but I can’t help it- they’re just too damn amazing.
Sorry, Cobra Skulls. You guys are still the best, and I’ll still crank your records, but I gotta have my monkeys.
Check out the  Cobra Skulls (punk rock)


Friday, November 16, 2012

"That's why they call me Whiskers" The man of a thousand worries.

Now that we've got the introduction out of the way, let’s move on to why I’m here.

Current events (in Glenn’s world)

The biggest development in my world right now would be the fact that my wife and I found out we’ll be welcoming a baby boy to our fold. This may seem like a simple “Hey, congratulations!” type of deal and it is, partially. We've managed to help two small humans learn to walk, talk, dress, and feed themselves (not to mention how to say “no”, “damn”, and “goober”). We’ve been to two dance recitals, put them though a few swimming classes, and watched Ruby try her hand at field hockey. They each own little, semi-playable guitars (Ruby’s is pink, Ramona’s is purple), and a ton of cute teddy bears and bunnies. They both seem to really like Barbie and mostly any Disney movie (side note: Ruby does hold a soft spot for Ghostbusters, Spider-Man movies, and the Corpse Bride). We seem to have things pretty much figured out. When Ramona was born, we kind of felt lost, trying to remember how we did it with Ruby, but within days, it all seemed to come back like riding a bike, or remembering all of the members of Winger. Ramona was/is different from her big sister; she’s a little rougher (I like to say she was born mean-which my wife hates), she prefers milk over juice, water, and/or food, she likes pizza, and she usually prefers blue to pink. We have two little princesses who know how to get what they want, especially from daddy. But this, this next baby…this is a boy. What the hell do we know about raising a boy? My wife has admitted that she’s nervous, and a little scared, and that she is unsure about what we’re in for. I, on the other hand, have been pretty quiet since finding out. I was certain that we were destined for a third princess. I just thought that I was going to be the dad with three teenage girls wreaking havoc on my sanity, bossing me around, and taking all of my money. Well, that’s not the case. I am no longer going to be alone, as the only man in the house, but that doesn't mean I have any more of a clue about what’s to come. I now have the responsibility of making my boy a man. Easy said, but the fact of the matter is that I still feel like a boy myself.

 Insecurities, yeah, I've got a few.

So here are my worries (and they may, or may not sound ridiculous to you): I can’t fix a car to save my life- If I look at an engine, I might as well be looking at lady parts- I don’t know what’s going on in there. At 35, I still can’t grow a beard. I don’t have any ATV’s. I've never been hunting, or fishing. I can’t skate (on ice, or on a board). I’m not the toughest guy on the block (there are high school kids who could make mincemeat of my face). I’m not a super confident dude. I've never been a ladies man (despite what my mother says about my time spent in Denver). And did I mention that my wrists look like they belong on a twelve year old? So, basically, I’m the quiet version of a nervous wreck. Girls are easy (in a learning capacity way), plus I don’t have to teach them about periods, and training bras-my wife does.  Now this? I am going to be responsible for helping this baby boy grow up to be a man? Looking back at my list of concerns I am left wondering whether I’m looking to raise a “man”, or a “redneck”.  I don’t know. I’m a little scared to walk down this road, as well. I’m right there with my wife in feeling clueless. She’s already talking about these ”pee tents” that would serve to protect us while changing his diaper, I don’t know. We’re both in for a whole different ball game this time around, and that alone is unnerving. I know I’m not alone in that aspect, but I can’t help but to feel an added amount of pressure this time around to help sculpt this child. To quote the great Will Ferrell as Harry Carey, “I’m a worrier, that’s why they call me whiskers.”

Will everything turn out for the best? I’m sure, but does that make me worry any less? No. I guess if worse comes to worst, I can pass on my vast knowledge of 80’s hair bands. Doesn't the world need a new Poison?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

They call me Glenn, not Maybe. The "they" I speak of is my little (growing) family. There's my wife, Meghan, and my two little girls, Ruby (almost 6) and Ramona (almost 3), and the "growing" bit is in reference to our 3rd kid that is due in March! We are expecting our first boy (whom we are naming, Axl).  That will be a family of five! The wife and I both work full time, I started going to college part time online, Ruby is in Kindergarten, and I'm also an aspiring author. Who's got the time? Glenn, whose got the time, has it because he makes it. I do, that's right.

I wanted to start a blog to sort of work on my writing, keep a journal, and basically have a place to impart my knowledge upon anyone who reads it, or make you a little dumber for doing so.

Let's talk about Glenn.
I am 35. I used to play in punk rock bands (we even made a video once! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDyNKWUpVsA ), now I'm working full time at a Hampton Inn, while going to college in an effort to improve my writing skills. I used to write little crazy horror stories in my old notebooks, just for myself. It was another creative outlet. Then, last year, I decided I wanted to write a novel. It was scary, it was daunting, but I was out of work at the time, and decided "what the hell".

 So, who's got time for college, writing and kids?
It's not easy, but I find ways (and time) to get things done. The first thing that had to go was playing in bands. As much as I love it, and miss it, I had to prioritize my life. Going back to school was a no-brainer, and with a family of 4 (soon to be 5), so was full time work. Luckily, I love the hotel industry, and the people I work with with. Now, where do I fit in time to write? Wait a minute...what about video games? Surely, a 35 year old man in 2012 plays video games, right? Unfortunately, the answer is yes. It's a vice I haven't quite learned to shake. I am not nearly as bad as others my age, but still probably log 5 to 6 hours of my free time behind a Playstation 3 controller. Now, if you factor in work, watching Ramona, picking or dropping Ruby off from school, putting in at least 6 hours for my school, while still trying to have time to work on my stories...well, you can see where I'm going. Video games (Madden football, and NBA2K basketball)  are really taking up valuable time.There's a guy in my horror writers club that wrote a great piece regarding the need for authors to prioritize their free time. I stopped for about a month, but have since, slipped back into my old ways.  Needless to say, I am still working on it. As for the time to write, well, 2 of my shifts at work are on the night audit. That's a 11 pm -7 am shift. From about midnight to 2 or 3, I have enough quiet time to sit down with my laptop and work on whatever project I'm currently creating. My other shifts are usually 3-11's. On those nights, I try to do a little writing after work, from about midnight to 2. I'll go in to my writing process in a later blog.

I want to keep these little blogs fairly short, and simple. So, I am going to leave this intro blog as is. My apologies, if this first entry is a little un-organized (un-organisized, to quote Mr. Bickle). I will be working towards making a nice, readable blog for the future. And speaking of the future-
I will be writing on the challenges of parenthood (love that TV show, by the way), and the great balancing act it takes to work, go to school, and attempt to begin a writing career.
If you want to follow along, feel free. Oh, and if you're on Facebook, go check out and "like" my writing page: http://www.facebook.com/glennrolfehorror

I'll be here, regardless.