"That's why they call me Whiskers" The man of a thousand worries.

Now that we've got the introduction out of the way, let’s move on to why I’m here.

Current events (in Glenn’s world)

The biggest development in my world right now would be the fact that my wife and I found out we’ll be welcoming a baby boy to our fold. This may seem like a simple “Hey, congratulations!” type of deal and it is, partially. We've managed to help two small humans learn to walk, talk, dress, and feed themselves (not to mention how to say “no”, “damn”, and “goober”). We’ve been to two dance recitals, put them though a few swimming classes, and watched Ruby try her hand at field hockey. They each own little, semi-playable guitars (Ruby’s is pink, Ramona’s is purple), and a ton of cute teddy bears and bunnies. They both seem to really like Barbie and mostly any Disney movie (side note: Ruby does hold a soft spot for Ghostbusters, Spider-Man movies, and the Corpse Bride). We seem to have things pretty much figured out. When Ramona was born, we kind of felt lost, trying to remember how we did it with Ruby, but within days, it all seemed to come back like riding a bike, or remembering all of the members of Winger. Ramona was/is different from her big sister; she’s a little rougher (I like to say she was born mean-which my wife hates), she prefers milk over juice, water, and/or food, she likes pizza, and she usually prefers blue to pink. We have two little princesses who know how to get what they want, especially from daddy. But this, this next baby…this is a boy. What the hell do we know about raising a boy? My wife has admitted that she’s nervous, and a little scared, and that she is unsure about what we’re in for. I, on the other hand, have been pretty quiet since finding out. I was certain that we were destined for a third princess. I just thought that I was going to be the dad with three teenage girls wreaking havoc on my sanity, bossing me around, and taking all of my money. Well, that’s not the case. I am no longer going to be alone, as the only man in the house, but that doesn't mean I have any more of a clue about what’s to come. I now have the responsibility of making my boy a man. Easy said, but the fact of the matter is that I still feel like a boy myself.

 Insecurities, yeah, I've got a few.

So here are my worries (and they may, or may not sound ridiculous to you): I can’t fix a car to save my life- If I look at an engine, I might as well be looking at lady parts- I don’t know what’s going on in there. At 35, I still can’t grow a beard. I don’t have any ATV’s. I've never been hunting, or fishing. I can’t skate (on ice, or on a board). I’m not the toughest guy on the block (there are high school kids who could make mincemeat of my face). I’m not a super confident dude. I've never been a ladies man (despite what my mother says about my time spent in Denver). And did I mention that my wrists look like they belong on a twelve year old? So, basically, I’m the quiet version of a nervous wreck. Girls are easy (in a learning capacity way), plus I don’t have to teach them about periods, and training bras-my wife does.  Now this? I am going to be responsible for helping this baby boy grow up to be a man? Looking back at my list of concerns I am left wondering whether I’m looking to raise a “man”, or a “redneck”.  I don’t know. I’m a little scared to walk down this road, as well. I’m right there with my wife in feeling clueless. She’s already talking about these ”pee tents” that would serve to protect us while changing his diaper, I don’t know. We’re both in for a whole different ball game this time around, and that alone is unnerving. I know I’m not alone in that aspect, but I can’t help but to feel an added amount of pressure this time around to help sculpt this child. To quote the great Will Ferrell as Harry Carey, “I’m a worrier, that’s why they call me whiskers.”

Will everything turn out for the best? I’m sure, but does that make me worry any less? No. I guess if worse comes to worst, I can pass on my vast knowledge of 80’s hair bands. Doesn't the world need a new Poison?